Sexy queer science with The ShayShay Show
November 12, 2018 by Holly
ShayShay joined us at The Glory, where they hosted the launch of Queer Attraction Lab. Drag artist, empowering queer activist and creator of The ShayShay Show, we chatted with ShayShay on all things from queer relationships to sexy blindfolded tests.
Want to see ShayShay in full flow? Watch the video interview in full here!
GS: What do you think is the sexiest quality a person can have?
ShayShay: Confidence. If you have the right level of confidence you can sell anything about yourself – whatever you’re wearing, whatever you’re doing, however you’re feeling – if you feel like ‘YES’ then everyone else is going to feel like ‘YES’ too!
GS: Which of the five senses do you think is most important for attraction?
ShayShay: I don’t want to say looks, like sight, although I worry it might be that. I’d like to think that it is touch, the actual feel of a person, that skin-to-skin contact.
GS: If you could run any scientific experiment to understand attraction what would it be?
ShayShay: If I was going to run an experiment, I’d try to figure out how important looks are by taking them away completely. Like a blind taste test, but a blind sexy test…blind love…blindfolded sex!
GS: What do queer spaces mean for you and what does the loss of them mean for the queer community?
ShayShay: Queer spaces are where I found out who I was, where I found my family, my tribe and my community. They’re the places where we’re able to feel comfortable and confident being who we are, not being stared at for presenting as our natural selves. It is also where we come together, look out for each other and create the energy that we need to take on this scary world. So the loss of these spaces means there is less space were we can go to feel safe. There are a lot of queer events that take over non-queer spaces, but unless you can ensure that a safe environment is being set up, you’re still the ‘other’ in a space that’s not yours. Some people are talking about the move to digital platforms and how we’re creating communities online, which is true, you can see how booming the queer community is on the internet. But that should then be reflected in physical spaces. If we’re able to come together online that much, why can we not be given, or find, spaces where we can come together in real life?
GS: What do you think is the most challenging thing about dating in the queer world, and what’s the best thing?
ShayShay: I think dating as a queer person is both difficult and exciting for the same reason, we don’t have many examples to model ourselves after, we’re building things up from scratch. We don’t see a lot of queer relationships and queer love on tv and in history. There’s no queer relationship floor plan. Though this also means that there’s not a strict heteronormative, monogamous, ‘let’s get married, have children’ norm, we don’t have to obey societal rules. We, as queer people, can have relationships that define ourselves and are right for our needs, we have that freedom. Also, the few floor plans we do see for queer relationships on TV are so limited, mostly white cis-gendered males that are gay together. We’re all brainwashed from watching TV, and what we find attractive is often just what we’ve seen. We all watched the same Disney movies and we never saw a positive representation of a queer, interracial, bisexual couple, so some people find it difficult to expand their mind and challenge themselves regarding what they find attractive. And I know it is a process that we all have to work towards. You actively have to teach yourself to look at things differently, and try to expand your realm of attraction, because if you’re just going after the few images we’ve seen on TV, you’re going to have a very boring dating pool.